Piss people off.........

[boudicca]

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE CRAZY

Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the oppositive gender.)

In the memo field of all your paychecks, write 'for sexual favors'.

Put decafe in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Send E-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Insist that your E-mail address is:
Zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com

Everytime someone asks you to do something , ask if they want fries with that.

Suggest that the Coke machine be filled with beer.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many".

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel. If no one notices, ditch the snorkel and see how many fish you can catch in your mouth.

Send E-mail messages that advertizse free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say "You've got to be faster than that."

When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your windshield wipers runing during all weather conditions to keep'em tuned up.

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

Practice making fax and modem noises.

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc: them to your boss.

Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy".

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

Don't use any punctuation.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Stomp on plastic ketchup packets.

TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

type only in lowercase.

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

And the final way to annoy people:
Send this E-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.

[VprDmnd]

Originally Posted by boudicca

Put decafe in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Me and another guy did this once at a computer repair shop I worked at. It was pretty damn funny to be honest with you.

[boudicca]

HAHA! I bet that was funny.......everyone hypo! Lmao!

[Alien Stick]

These are always fun too...

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferrebly a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.

54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

56. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

57. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

58. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

59. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

60.When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

61.Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

62.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

63.Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

64. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

65. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

66. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

67. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

68. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!

[boudicca]

Haha!

[GoodGod]

At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Now i nwo im new to this forum, but damn it you ppl have to try this one ^ ^, its so funny, the only diff i had was that i point a box with a make shift handle at them. some reactions are so delightful

[Shiola]

Welocme GoodGod, that sounds like a good one. A mate and I used to drive past cars coming the other way and then flash the lights and point out the window to their car and watch them stop and then get out the car to see what was wrong.

[VprDmnd]

This'll show you how much of a geek I am, but damn if I didn't have a good laugh over it.

I used to do tech help in an insurance office in GA before I moved to CO. It was a pretty layed back place and everyone knew everyone else so it wasn't entirely unheard of for a prank to be pulled every now and then. This was one of my favorites to do.

First off, use print screen to take a screen capture of a persons desktop. Then use something like photoshop or M$ Paint to save the picture somewhere on the local drive. Then set the saved picture as their background, autohide the task bar, and hide all desktop icons.

People never would figure it out. There was one lady in general who was the most fun to pull pranks on. It took her the better half of an hour to realize that I had put clear tape on the bottom of her mouse, back in ancient times when mouse balls were still in use.

Here's another one. Because of the was the phone system was set up, to get an outside line you had to dial 9. This was true on the fax machine also, you had to dial 9 and then hit the pause button so that the fax machine wouldn't include the 9 in the fax number. There was a large sign on the fax machine that said "Dial 9 then Pause". I just happened to walk past the office where the fax machine was one day and saw the lady mentioned above just standing there. I asked what she was doing and I swear to God this was her answer. It says dial 9 then pause, how long do I pause for?

[GoodGod]

hehehe, i have an added way to really make someone pankic, you just have to use the same way like take a screen shot hide the task bar or betta yet crop it out, except, you put ALL the icons back where they were or this wont work, you put a folder on the desktop and call it anything you like, one of my fave's is probly "Hard Porn", you take the screen shot, make sure the task bar is hidden when you do it works betta, anyway you then remove folder and place the now new back ground on the person computer, and watch them franticly try to delete it some reaction when i've done that to ppl are so priceless

[staticxess]

A few more to enjoy:

When two (ore more) people are working a desks that are put next to each other, switch their telephone cords. With all those cables lying around it will take some time before they find that one out!

Put a peice of onion or a clove of garlic inside the mouthpiece of a phone. Give it some time for it to fester and build up a strong odor. Then call them and keep them on the phone for as long as possible.

It is always a good habit to lock your computer before heading off for coffee or a smoke. When someone forgets and leaves a Word document or an email open, type a single word somewhere in the text. “f*ck” or so will do nicely. They’ll never notice and send it out.

Get a hold of someone's cell phone and change the greeting banner to say "NO SERVICE". Many cell phones have greeting banners on them that you can personalize to say whatever you want them to and it stays on there when you're not using your phone. Also, when there is no service where you are, most cell phone companies have a banner that pops up on your screen saying "no service".

Take a can of non-gel shaving cream, and put it in a freezer. When it is frozen remove the bottom of the can and put it in co worker's drawer. When it melts it expands and explodes all over everything.

Go into MS Word or similar program on co-worker's computer, and add an entry to the AutoCorrect feature. This is a very simple prank that will send the novice user into a frenzy. Configure the AutoCorrect option to replace the word "the" with the phrase "you suck!". They will usually panic and start scanning for viruses.

This will mostly only work with people with very little PC knowledge. Stick a floppy disk in their floppy drive. They will be unable to boot up windows until the disk is out. This is fun to watch.

Try to find a very obnoxious CD laying around. Preferably a reggae or rap CD. Pop it in their CD ROM. Put up the sound full blast by double clicking on the volume control on the bottom right. On normal configurations the audio CD will autoplay when windows first starts up. The person starting up there PC in the morning will definitely be deafened & embarrassed.

This is for that special person you just can't stand in the office, the one who talks on the phone all day with their boyfriend/girlfriend and gets personal e-mail all day. Go into their e-mail and change their defaults to automatically "blind carbon copy" their boss or supervisor. Heads will roll!

Try "password securing" someone's screen saver. First I suggest changing the screen saver to "scrolling marque" and inserting your own word or phrase, "Mr. Jones (president or supervisor) eats SHlT" or something to that effect.

With someone who is on the phone alot during work - This works if you have phones that the handset comes apart. Take the handset apart and put scotch tape over the mouthpiece inside. They can still be heard, but they have to talk loud to be heard. The next day take it off, and put it in the earpeice. Usually they will be yelling to the other person on the line the next day, and won't be able to hear them. When they complain about the phone, and get a replacement, do it on the next phone. After about a week you will notice the calls to be down considerably.

Depending where you are at you may have a cafeteria in you place of work. Every week most of them put out a menu so you know what they are serving. Usually it is done on Word or Excel, and not extremely fancy. With a little work, matching fonts, and images you can make your own menus, and post them by your desk. We had one co-worker avoid the cafeteria for 2 weeks because of the selection "fish head stew" etc... before he caught on. Works great with picky eaters.

My absolutely most favorite prank I have saved for last. It is so simple to do and yields such nice results. Simply pop out the 'm' and 'n' key on someone's keyboard and reverse the two. Any flat tool will work. Just pry it with little pressure and they will easily come right off. Then just sit back and watch the confusion.

Muhahahaha!