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No.169: Finding a Doctor on Google
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Rating: 4.50
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This happened a few years ago when I lived in the USA. The health insurance company I was with gave Men $50 for having a check up because us Men are hopeless at going to the doctors, which is true. I hadn't been for a general checkup since school....and I was now 30. So this extra incentive of $50 plus the fact I'm now 30 and extremely old, I thought I should go for a checkup.
So, I'm in America and haven't got a doctor. My girlfriend says I should ask some people at work for one of their doctor's phone numbers, but I live in a different area to them plus I don't want everyone at work knowing my business....so, being the internet dependent geek I am, I search on Google.
Immediately there is a list of doctors with their phone numbers so I phone one up and make an appointment. The first clue is that the appointment is the next day at 8am - I thought this was a bit soon. Anyway, this morning I get up, go to the doctors and walk in the room....now the room is not a sterilised office but more of a front room with sofas...I think this is strange, but maybe this is how it is in the US. The doc has loads of books and I start reading the titles as I sit on a sofa facing a lazyboy with foot rest...'Rape Counselling', 'Divorce', etc, etc.....I then see a photo of what I'm 50% sure is a young Freud....it suddenly dawns on me, Shit! This is a fucking shrink doctor not a regular doctor!!
Bollocks!
The doc turns around from filing something and says, "So what's the problem?"
"Errrr, you're not a GP are you? You're a Psychologist right?"
He looks at me dumbfoundedly.
"I'm really sorry but I thought you were a GP but now I realise you're not."
(Afterwards I also realise that regular doctors here are NOT called GP's (General Practitioners), so the shrink is continuing to look at me as though I'm the biggest mental case he's seen in his whole 40 year career).
"Have you got a medical problem?" he says with no sarcasm, irony or even the lightest tone of humour in his voice.
"Errr, I don't know, I just want a checkup. Errrr, what's your GP's name and number?" I ask trying to salvage some kind of result from this total washout.
...and the doc was nice and gave me his doctor's name and phone number...trouble is this one doesn't accept my insurance so I'm back to square one.
Another funny thing that occurs to me, is when I phoned this shrink up I said to his secretary that "I needed my yearly checkup" thinking he was a regular doctor....she must have thought I was an extreme mental nutter who required mental treatment once a year.
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