Bush's Confessional

How can you seperate God and State? I'm God and I run the State. Fuck you and fuck The Constitution! Dear Almighty Followers of God (the one with the white beard, not the one wearing a turban with 6 arms),

I am a very busy man, just like the Good Lord above, and I don't have time to go to confession anymore, so I need my obedient disciples...I mean, fellow citizens, to help me confess my sins for me.

I realize there aren't many I need to confess because I am so benevolent, but to cover my ass at the Pearly Gates when I take my rightful place at the lefthand side of God, I need you to list all the confessions I need to make next time I send a Whitehouse aid to a church to run through them on my behalf. I'll sign it so it's official, after all, it's not the first time I've signed something without looking through it.

If you help me out here and vote for my brother at the next Presidential race, then I'll put in a good word with St. Peter so he let's you in when you've kicked the bucket...unless you're gay, liberal, atheist/Islamic, socialist or have an IQ above 70...but you knew that anyway, right?

(One post per person. Each post is 500 characters max).

The Sin Being Confessed:

George's Pray to God:

« previous 15 prays

Stupid
Dear God, I am sorry that the person who wrote "CONTINUED" can't spell worth 2 shits or use punctuation.

Lord ' It is I who hired the pilots too fly into the world trade Center on September 11th , For I am the guilty one , Lord!
Lord God & Jesus ; Father please forgive me lord ' for I am alone responsible for the killing of well over 5000 men and women! It was "ME" GOD , I gave the word for the CIA to hire the pilots , that flew into the world trade ctr on that drery September day, And it was I lord That killed all those innocent soldiers , so that I could make some more money on foriegn oil!

Being a cowardly liar and cheating americans of their rights!
Dear Lord: Look at the bright side of what I accomlished not the dark ! And for doing it my way I'll cut you in on 379 of my oil wells outside of Bagdad Iraq.

MORE
I M SORRY FOR AMERICA BECAUSE GOD IF THEY DONT CHANG DIRECTION SOON THEY WILL BE UNDONE BY YOUR JUDGEMENT.
IM SORRY THAT I FAILED TO STAND UP TO THE JERKS WHO ATTACK M E AND LIE ABOUT ME IM SORRY THAT I TOOK THE JOB TO SERVE AN UNGRATEFULL NATION.

CONTINUED
IM SORRY THAT HE STUPID STINKING THINKING LIBERALS IN THIS COUNTRY ARE SO BLIND TO THE REAL THREAT AND IM SORRY THAT WE HAVE SO MANY DISRESPECTFULL NITWITS WHO DO NOT SEE THAT THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT COMANDS RESPECT EVEN IF YOU DONT LIKE HIM.

I GOT ELECTED
IM SORRY THAT I BOTHERED TO FIND A KILL THE BASTARDS THAT KILLED 5000 PEOPLE ON 9/11 AND I AM SORRY THAT WE HAVE A NATION OF IDIOTS THAT CANT SEE THAT WE HAVE TO STOP THEM THERE OR WE WILL HAVE TO STOP THEM HERE. THAT WE MUST KILL THEM THERE OR THEY WILL KILL US HERE.

Sloth
Dear Lord, I'm one lazy, stupid mother fucker. I'm asking you for help. Can you send down an angel to cook some dinner? Amen.

I bombed a rack
Please let me understand english

sex with horse
buy me horses

Being Hate Full At
Canada F you bush

animals
oh god, oh hear me, for i have sinned with yee animals. but the only way i could get in bed with saddam was that i butt fucked his horse first.

armageddon
o lord forgive me for starting armageddon early

Sin #1886510
Forgive me oh lord, for I am the one who let the dogs out.

sadism
I'm sorry for whacking off while watching soldiers tie up iraqis, piss on them, and jab them with tasers.

Dear Allah, Esq.
I'm sorry about my plastic wife's emotionless face. Oh and the country, too. Whoops!

« previous 15 prays